For When You Need a Good Cry

I personally enjoy crying. Not that dab-your-eyes, trying to alternate being widening them and squinting to soak the tears back in because you are watching a movie with your emotion-free husband and it's not even that sad kind of crying. I think that crying over something truly sad is healthy and cathartic and unites us as humans. I have never had a hard time crying. I remember as a child I would sometimes lay in bed and think about the saddest things, and I could create such vivid pictures that I would inevitably end up in tears, burst into my parents' room and sob "I thought about you dying!" thereby win myself a free pass to sleep with them. I'm a sensitive soul. 

So when I come across blog posts that are truly heart breaking, I save them. Not for any purpose other than to read again and empathize and cry for a little bit. I feel like having a baby made me even more of a sissy, since now I have another heart to break. But I think I will share with you some of my links. 

Sad things happen to everyone, but there are people who capture the sad so well, it is beautiful and worth reading in a way that simply hearing about a tragedy may not be. 

This first one came from a blog where mothers share their birth stories, most of which were at home or done naturally, and all end pretty much the same way - with chubby, screaming, organically-raised babies. This mother went into labor at 23 weeks, her baby only weighing a little more than a pound. Her strength and humor in the story really touches me, as does her faith. I could just hear the words to "This is My Father's World" as I read the end. 

The next one is a blog that Natalie follows. It is so beautiful and touching, every post is a masterpiece. A woman's journey through losing her husband and raising her two children alone. The romance and sweet simplicity of those post has brought it to mind so many times. 

The last one is such a terrible tragedy, such a preventable loss, that it just about scared me to death. The grief of losing a child compounded with the shock of how easily it could happen to any child, in any house in the world, makes this such a haunting, compelling post. This is also a call to action, and I hope those reading it do what they can to protect their own sweet children.

I feel close to all these women because I have cried with them and for them, and I love the way they have reacted and grown from their loss. I only hope that in the face of such pain, I can use words to untangle the knots of my soul and let the tears flow. 

SAN ANTONIO

YES. We are finally here and it is all that we dreamed of and more.

Leaving Utah - Bleary Eyed but Motivated

The trip down here was a little ridiculous. We planned on taking two very long days worth of driving and then having the weekend to settle in, but then we were told that we would only be reimbursed for 350 miles of driving a day. So we spent four 5 hour days and lazily ambled down to San Antonio. We stayed in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, which sounds like a cool western town, but was indeed named after the game show, and went to church in the tiny hamlet of Fort Stockton, TX. We listened to 1.25 John Grisham novels and ate lots of Mexican food. We got stopped at a border checkpoint and Luke accidentally told them we were immigrants. It was so weird to pull up to our hotels at 3 or 4 in the afternoon rather that 1 or 2 AM which is generally what my family does whilst traveling.

When we got here, it was 70 degrees and humid. Our apartment complex is in the northern part of San Antonio, but still pretty close to the base where Luke works. It is really nice, with three pools, a big duck pond, a gym, and lots and lots of animals. Not being a pet person myself, I have come to find that most people who would pay extra to live in a place that allows pets seem to be decent people.

We got in on a Sunday night, and the movers came Monday morning. They unloaded all our stuff and were gone before noon. Have you ever had someone else pack and unpack your stuff before? It's really nice, except that anything even semi-breakable is wrapped in 10 giant sheets of paper and what you thought was a rolling pin, after so many layers, ends up being a bottle of tobasco sauce. Our living room was totally full of paper after I unpacked my jarred fruit and dishes, and Ivy was in heaven. There were several times when she buried herself in paper and we could only find her by watching a little rustle here and there, traveling through the pile.

Now we have been here for about a month, and it's been great. We love the Riverwalk, which is packed with tourists most nights, but we are pretty much tourists too, so we aren't discriminating. We like our new ward, which is chock full of babies for Ivy to steal toys from, and we live .6 miles away from the library. I have been on a major reading kick. Maybe I'll write about that later.

One of my favorite things about living here is our complex. Our apartment itself is good - large, though the appliances are all old. But our complex is awesome. Three pools, a big pond, and all the ducks you could ever want to feed.

These ducks are fearless.

And we got a crib for Ives!

Julia and Ivy, Christmas morning

For Christmas, we went to Nick and Nadine's house in Dallas. It was so great to have family relatively close by. Ivy's first Christmas!

And now we are gearing up for Mikelle's wedding, looking forward to our trip to Utah. We also have tentative plans to spend Spring Break in Florida with Eric and Andy. Life is good.