A Sorry Excuse for a Christmas Card

(Luke and I are not yet legitimate enough to send out Christmas cards, I guess, though I have every intention of doing them next year.)

Happy Holidays! It has been a wonderful, eventful year for our little family. We moved to San Antonio in December of 2012 where Luke started his job, and we are currently in Sierra Vista, Arizona on a temporary duty assignment. We are loving the southwest United States, but are definitely looking forward to seeing family next week and spending Christmas in Utah with the Bangerters.

Our pictures are far from professional this year as we don't know any photographers down here...

Ivy is chronically itchy. It's a hard life.

Ivy is 20 months old. She loves to be outside and to read. She loves to go the the nursery at church and is 100% comfortable around strangers. She is my little companion, always more than happy to help with the cooking or to throw away diapers. Her favorite thing is to retrieve eggs from the fridge, though sometimes she goes rogue and I have to chase her around the house to get the egg back. Doesn't always end well. But we sure love her. 

June is about 4.5 months old. She is happy and chubby and extremely vocal. We are a little concerned that she will outpace Ivy in size before too long, but at least she will be able to hold her own. She doesn't do anything fun yet, but we know that soon she'll be playing with Ivy and plotting against us.

Isn't Luke the best? He is. I'll tell you that right now. He loves his little girls and works hard to take care of us. He also loves his fantasy football and basketball teams - a love that I neither share nor fully understand, but he is very patient at talking me through it. I can't imagine having a family with anyone else.

And I am just counting down the days until I get to see family again (4!) and enjoying the mild weather. I thoroughly enjoy being home with Ivy and June and not-so-secretly hope that I have only girls forever. Perhaps a little brown-eyed baby boy will change my mind some day (not an announcement) but for the foreseeable future, Luke will be sadly outnumbered and outvoted. He doesn't seem to mind.

We love you, our families and friends. We miss you and want to hear from you. Call! Write! Visit!

Sierra Vista

When Luke started working for the government, we were told that he would need to attend counter intelligence training at Fort Huachuca in Sierra Vista, Arizona to become a CI agent. Which is what he was hired to do. So obviously we assumed we would get that training done ASAP. Instead, as you probably know, the government has been kind of a B lately. So we were prepared to go in April and then again in July. Instead of going, we were all furloughed and shutdown.

BUT! Now we are here! It has been almost exactly a year since Luke started and we've basically been sitting on our bums waiting, but who cares? We are here now.

We are living in a fully furnished vacation house, which is great. We stashed all our stuff in a storage unit in San Antonio and just brought clothes and my glorious Kitchenaid. It made unpacking really easy. The house we live in is nice - very Arizona-ey with a rock backyard, which is Ivy's favorite feature. There are three bedrooms, and since we have June in our room, I might do a playroom for Ivy, sans toys....since we didn't bring any. At all. What was I even thinking?

For now, our tentative plans are to go to Mesa for Thanksgiving and Utah for Christmas. I'm still a little traumatized from the 12 hour drive with Junie, who, like her sister before her, hates car seats with her whole heart.

I really, really want to make friends here. I know we are only going to be here for 5 months, but Luke will be working longer hours and Ivy is getting to the age where it would actually be fun to join a playgroup or something like that.

Ivy found one of her Christmas presents during the packing up times. She loved it, so I guess it's cool.

Our house! Complete with an unpronounceable Spanish street address! 

What can even be said about June's neck fat? You can even see a little dimple in there. It's too much.

Ivy is just a little lovey. Her favorite words are "happy" "Shooonie" "pika" and "bum."

June in August

     Let me first off say that it has been 2+ weeks since this blessed event took place and I am sorry about the lack of timeliness on my part. The truth is that having two children is CRAZY. Having one child is a little crazy sometimes, but having two is all crazy at all times. Right now I have one again, since Luke took Ivy to church, so I can mostly manage.

    Secondly, I apologize to those faithful blog readers who thought they had the inside scoop on our second baby's name and then felt shocked, horrified, betrayed, and disappointed when we named her something else. It was actually a fairly last minute decision. We were set on Helen, but in the days before her birth, I found myself not loving the name. People would refer to random things as "Helen's," like "Helen's clothes" or "Helen's diapers" or whatever and I was very turned off by it. Maybe it's just that Helen doesn't seem like a baby name, but I think it just wasn't meant to be for this baby. So when Luke asked me if I was sure about the name Helen, I said no, and we started more or less from scratch. We had a short list, but when Luke suggested the name June, it immediately shot to the top for me, but we decided to wait until we saw her to make a decision.

    My official due date was September 5th, but I had been measuring a week bigger at my last ultrasound, and I was hoping to have the baby sooner. On the weekend of August 24th-25th, I was having lots of cramps and feeling generally terrible. I was certain I would go into labor soon, since that's what happened with Ivy, but I didn't, and at my appointment on Monday, I was just mad. It's so miserable to have nothing to show for it. At least when I was having cramps and feeling all gross, it could have turned into legit contractions and then a baby, but that all stopped and I was impatient as all get out. So when my doctor told me he would induce labor that Thursday, I said heck yes. Our great friends, the Coopers, offered to take Ivy whenever we wanted, so we decided to bring her over Wednesday night.

   Thursday morning at 5:30 AM, after sleeping about 4 hours total, we checked in at the hospital. I was feeling all sorts of conflicting feelings. I was excited and a little nervous - it's really not too fun to get all sorts of IVs and have nurses all up in your business. All that pre-baby stuff. Blegh. It turns out, in my case, being induced was really, really not fun. And to be honest, I'm not sure I would ever voluntarily do an induction again. Part of that was my fault, I think, because I wanted to feel a few contractions before I got an epidural, and the timing just ended up being bad bad bad.

At 6:41, they started the pitocen, which causes contractions.

At 7:58, my doctor broke my water, and I asked for an epidural at the earliest convenience. My contractions were still manageable, but I knew from past experience that once my water is broken, things get a whole lot more painful and intense.

At 9:03, I was given an epidural, but then the anesthesiologist was called away on some emergency, so I basically had a needle in my back doing nothing. I was given some medication to take the edge off, but eventually it wasn't enough. It would take off the pressure, but the knife-like, stabbing pain remained, and I told Luke that I felt like I was being tortured. I was freezing, starving, and essentially chained to this bed, able to eat nothing but ice chips, and I was beginning to seriously hate myself for wanting an induction. I think if I had gone into labor naturally, then at least I would have had the assurance that my body was ready and that the contractions were happening at a natural pace and I could sort of anticipate them. Not so with this induction.

At 10:16, I was at a 6, still waiting for the anesthesiologist to come back and bring some sweet relief.

At 10:24, she finally did, but it still took another half hour for it to kick in.

At 11:00, I felt some really intense contractions. Luckily, at that point, I was numb to where I could feel the pressure and the movement of the baby, but not the stabbing pain. It was actually an awesome feeling, and I told Luke to call for the nurse.

At 11:03, I was at a 10 and ready to push. The baby wasn't quite where she needed to be, so I pushed with the nurse and we waited for the doctor. Luke had told me that he wanted to cut the cord this time, something he hadn't done with Ivy, but he was still unsure about watching the whole thing. When the time came, though, the doctor was like "Get on down here, Dad!" and he did. I'm sure it was a little scarring, but it was so powerful to share that experience together.

At 11:35, she was born! They plopped her right on my chest, which was a little weird, but I instantly started to cry and I couldn't stop smiling. She started squalling immediately and her skin turned bright red before my eyes. Wow.

She was amazing. At 7 pounds, 5 ounces, she was bigger than Ivy had been, and looked generally healthier. She started nursing right away and was so alert. Sadly, my epidural seemed to have kicked in full force after the fact, and I couldn't walk at all until 3:30 or so that afternoon. They relocated us to the recovery room and I couldn't wait for Ivy to meet her sister. Luke went and got me some Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets and McDonald's hot chocolate, which I recommend as a perfect reward for childbirth.

We decided that Luke should take Ivy home after the Coopers dropped her off at the hospital, and I would stay overnight alone. We wanted to leave hospital as soon as possible, since our insurance charges us $500 a night, so it wasn't too big of a deal, but needless to say, I was totally ready to go home in the morning. They poke and prod you every 4 hours, tell you lots of stuff you already know, whisk your baby away all the time, and while I am grateful for modern medicine, I missed Ivy SO much.

So then we came home the next day and everything was magic. Luke took a few days off and then Nick and his family and Kristen and Gavin came down for the weekend. Then last week Luke's mom arrived and kept things spotless and fed us and tomorrow will be the first day that it's all me. I'm terrified, to be honest, but one thing I have going for me is this:

Ivy has never been anything but loving to June, or "Shoo-nee" as she calls her. There is nothing cuter. 

Here is a little video of them meeting for the first time. She was kind of indifferent, but has since graduated to kissing, soft touches, sniffing and sometimes licking. Why? I don't know. Why not?

Junie meeting Aunt Kristen

Reading with Grandma

And this is June today. She had gained almost a pound and a half by her two week appointment, and is not far from graduating out of newborn clothes and diapers. I just hope she doesn't pass up Ivy too quickly. That might be awkward for all of us. 

And that is how we became the parents of two children. Like I said, it's crazy. But I think things will get easier when June starts sleeping longer and at more regular intervals and I can plan things. But for the foreseeable future, I plan on staying home and keeping my girls well-loved and adequately fed. That is a formidable task in and of itself, but I'm loving it so far. 

Waxing Sentimental at 37 Weeks

My Dear Friends, 

    

     Having a baby about 9 months after I got married was a humbling experience for me. Having lived much of my teenage years striving to prove my autonomy and difference from my family, here I was, having a baby right off. For those of you who don't know, I am the 5th of 11 children. I love my family, but I was always a little unsure about how my own family planning would go. What if I was still in college when I got married? What if my husband wanted to do grad school? I knew I wanted kids and probably lots of kids, but if I wasn't ready when I got married, how long would I wait? 

  

     So between the jokes about our "honeymoon baby" and sleepless nights of wondering what on earth I was doing, we anticipated Ivy. Well, not exactly. We anticipated a squalling newborn who would rob us of our sleep and intimacy and force us to become acquainted with all sorts of bodily functions in a new, gross way. My insecurity lessened pretty much by necessity. People understand that pregnancy comes with all sorts of ups and downs. 

      When our scrawny, rootbeer-eyed baby was born, what did we think? We were scared. We were anxious. And we really, really liked her. But newborns are strange, marsupial-like things that are so sweet and soft, but they actually warrant much of the stress that anticipates them. Ivy now is much more manageable. Some people just love the newborn stage, but to me, Ivy just gets better and better. As of yet, I haven't really had many "why can't they stay little?!" moments. Maybe because Ivy has always been too little. 

      Luke and I talked about what it might be like to have another baby, the initial moment. Some of my friends have said that it's better the second time around - that you kind of skip past much of the anxiety of the newness of it all and get straight to the good part. That is, enjoying the baby and bonding and all of that. I'm curious to know about the experiences of others who have had more than one. But I can tell you that I am much less crazy this time around. I feel calm and excited (and exhausted and heart-burned and all those non-lovely things that people feel when they are 37 weeks pregnant) and I want to meet her. 

     All of that insecurity I felt when I found out I was pregnant with our first and second babies in fairly rapid succession is gone. I was worried that other people might think that I was going into motherhood without fully considering my other options, that I was following some sort of Mormon dogma that mandated swift and efficient child production, or that I might not even know what birth control is. The truth that I know is that I am happy. No job that I have ever had, no class I have ever taken, no trip or concert or purchase has ever made me feel so fulfilled. Not even my pre-baby marriage with Luke, wonderful as it was, compares to what we have created. And while I recognize that motherhood doesn't make everyone feel this way, I am secure because this is the way it makes me feel. 

    How many kids will we have? Will they all be so close in age? Will they all be named Ivy?! These questions and many more will be answered in the years to come, so stay tuned! 

   Odds are, with my spotty blogging record, the next post will be a kick-A birth story! That's right, I said it. I do what I want. I can't wait. 

Furloughs? Fur-loves!

Yes, I know the title of this post is not witty and also maybe confusing, but it sums up our life. For those of you who don't know, lots of government employees, particularly those in the Department of Defense, are being furloughed. This means that they are being compelled to take temporary unpaid leave one day a week for 11 weeks. This means that Luke had this Friday and will have the next ten Fridays off. WHICH IS AWESOME. I love it. I mean, yeah, there is the 20% pay cut and we are going to be having a baby sometime in there and I don't feel like I can order Wingstop while Luke is at work every day, but overall, I am excited.

Some of our plans for our FurFri's (is that better? worse. definitely):

1. Go camping on Padre Island. That is the plan for this week. I am pinning all sorts of camping treats and meals. It is probably going to be unbearably hot.

2. Go to the zoo. A lot. The zoo here is pretty small (they don't have giraffes or lions) but Ivy has started to really like it and we have a membership. So we'll be there all the time.

3. Go to Dallas. Nick and Nadine always go overboard to make sure we have a great time and I love seeing family out here.

4. Go to Austin. I have been meaning to do this, but I've only ever driven through on my way to Dallas. For you natives, what are some great things we should do in Austin?

5. Grill stuff. We bought one of those tiny little circle charcoal grills and we have used the heck out of it. It is just too hot here to be using the oven every day and I think Luke loves it. Don't all men kind of love barbecuing stuff? I wonder why that is. So, also looking for good recipes for that.

6. Swimming. Ivy and I go almost every day, but it's much more fun when Luke is there. Ivy can't really distinguish men from each other very well, so every time we go she is shouting "Dada!" at every man she sees (especially Latinos) and it's just more comfortable for me when her sentiments are directed at her actual father.

7. Yard sale fest. Now I can go on Fridays and Saturdays! Which I may or may not do, depending on the weekend, but it was great this last time. We got this baby carrier for $40 and a bunch of two player games. I was sure I would school Luke at Boggle, but he has yet to be beat. This English degree is doing nothing for me! Nothing!

8. Do stuff outside. I have alluded to the heat here, and it is intense, so doing things outside requires careful timing. The mornings and evenings are so beautiful and pleasant, so I am looking for hikes and walks in the area.

As you can see, that list got a little vague at the end. But my plan is to do research each week and present a great plan to Luke for the weekend and we will do it and remember this as the summer of unlimited fun and freedom.

And then we will have another baby!

By way of an update, I am officially 32 weeks. I went in for a third trimester ultrasound at the beginning of July and the ultrasound technician was kind of a bimbo. I mean, she seemed competent, but she was like "OMG! Your baby is breech! You will probably need a C-section!" I mean, come on. You don't say that to someone unless you are a doctor. Especially since my baby only weighed like 3 pounds at the time. Still plenty of time for all sorts of turning, right? She also told me that I was measuring a week bigger than my due date suggested, which was kind of fun. My doctor didn't share her fears, thankfully, and also didn't change my due date, so I'm still officially saying September 5th, but I can't stop the hoping that it will be sooner. It's just hot. And I want to meet this girl.

As a reward for reading all that, I will tell you the name that we are liking for her : Helen Christine.

And as a second reward, here is mah body! I'm turning 25 in two weeks. And having a baby in 4-8.

Aaaaand since Ivy just strolled in after waking up from her nap, here's a little peek at her. Fresh off the iPhone.

I love her hair with a pure love.

Lukeless in San Antonio

Starting on Mother's Day, Luke left me for two weeks. Technically, 13ish days, but still. It was far, far too long. Living by Fort Sam Houston, I have met lots of military families and I know that almost all of them have been split up for months on end with deployments and trainings and are much cooler about it than I was. I have no excuse. I'm a lame-o. Two weeks without Luke and without a job would have meant nonstop Netflix and Harry Potter were it not for Ivy. She is an easygoing little fellow (?) but I don't think I could really just pour some cheerios in her crib and expect to be able to be completely self indulgent in peace.

So I decided that we would spend the first week of our girl time in Dallas where my brother and his family live. What a great choice. Seriously. We dropped Luke off at the airport at around noon and then headed straight out. It's a four hour drive and I'll be honest, I was pretty nervous. It's a straight shot, which is good, but babies make for unpredictable carfellows (??) Happily, Ivy slept for about two hours and then woke up mostly too disoriented to be sad. 

We had such a fun week! We went to the park, to the Perot Museum of Science and Nature (twice!), to the zoo, to Ikea (which I have been sorely missing, since the nearest one to us is outside of Austin), and even hit up some awesome yard sales before we headed back to San Antonio. 

 Julia loved Ivy so much. She would follow her around saying "No, no, no Ibee" in this sweet little voice. 

The Perot Museum had a section just for little kids, and Ivy loved it. Especially drinking the water out of the activity pool.

Look at those cute sweaters from the yard sale! If only it weren't 90 degrees here...

And that happy face is Ivy eating a french fry at Wendy's on our way home. I was so glad we made it. 

But wait! There's more! Returning to San Antone (as we locals call it, maybe) we still had a week to kill. So we made some fun plans with our friends and watched lots of shows. 

Ivy's first splash pad. She loved it. 

Not as much love for her sun hat. Oh well. 

Story time at the library was cancelled, which meant a significantly ritzier story time at Barnes & Noble. 

We swam at our apartment complex and took quite a few walks. Ivy is never without a rock or two during these jaunts. Because you never know. 

We visited the San Antonio Children's Museum, which involved driving and parking downtown, which involved me hyperventilating a little bit. But totally worth it. 

This picture is lame. I just took it to show my mom our new comforter, but I'm pretty happy with the whole ensemble. I got a down comforter and duvet cover and that reddish pillow at Ikea and the wall decor and yellow blanket at Target. I make my bed every day now because I like to see it looking so cheery. 

Luke got home on Friday night late and all was right in the world. I missed him like crazy. All of those things would have been so much more fun if he were there (well, except the yard sales. My brother, Nick, was a much better yard sale companion.) Our awesome friends watched Ivy for us and we saw a movie yesterday and felt all giddy, like we were dating again, but with more making out. Just kidding. Ha. 

ALSO: I am 25 weeks along!  Which means that new baby Bangerter will be here in just 15 weeks or so. Can you even wait to see what our little Ivy 2.0 will look like? We can't either.

For Those Days When Your Newsfeed Just Doesn't Give You Enough Ivy

I probably post about 1/8th (I'm not sure if that "th" was superfluous) as many pictures of Ivy as I want to on Facebook. I'll be honest, I'm glad that I have people who post too many pictures of their babies because I feel like I have a firm grasp on what that is. Which is not to say that I am not sometimes guilty. Like when a holiday happens to occur right before Ivy does something cute and then I'm like "post two days in a row or...what?" This never happened to me pre-baby. I have never created anything nearly as impressive.

And once babies become real people, they move around all the time. I can't capture stuff like I want to and Ivy is always more interested in grabbing my phone or camera than she is in doing whatever cute thing she was doing in the first place.

So last week, I decided to take our camera along on one of our bi-weekly trips to the library. One of my favorite things about our apartment, which I'm sure I already mentioned, is its proximity to the library. I have been consuming books for the last 6 months and I don't plan on that letting up any time soon. If you have any good recommendations, I would love to hear them.

So here's a slew of pictures from a day in the life of me and the Ives:

Even though she doesn't look like me, people have stopped asking me if she's my baby. Which is a relief, because it was weird when they did that. I have decided that it's because we are very companionable. She looks at me and I look at her and we have a pretty good idea of just how much we need each other.

But with everything I have given her - food, clothes, attention, way too many library books per visit - I know that we are a mere 18ish weeks from giving her the best thing in the world. A sister. A companion. A confidante, friend, and ally. Someday when we are not the best of friends, I am comforted by the idea that she might still confide in her sister, who loves her just as much. If we can't live close to each other, maybe they will be roommates.

OR maybe I'm just being a ridiculous sentimental pregnant mess. You be the judge.